"Mythical Me" - Book Reflections 2
by Thomas B. Grosh IV, CMDA Northeast Regional Director
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8 (NIV)
Our series on Richella A. Parham’s Mythical Me: Finding Freedom from Constant Comparison (InterVarsity Press, 2019) began by exploring the author’s experience of the comparison trap through The Mythical Composite Woman. I pray that you had time to prayerfully consider, even discuss with a prayer partner / small group, some of your responses to the questions at the end of the first piece. If not, I encourage you to take a few minutes to review them before proceeding.
Personally, I confess feeling the pressures of comparitivism from an early age. Maybe as a child I avoided the comparison trap by living in my own fantasy world, largely comprised of Star Wars figures, a play castle, conversation in the waiting room of my Dad’s dental office, and watching Doctor Who on Saturday afternoons. When I found my academic groove in middle school / high school, I relished high achievement in several areas. But the Lord had other plans for me than climbing the academic ladder. During my first year in college, he called me to a life focused on sharing the love of God with head, heart, and hands among those in higher education.
I have found accountability to God (through the Word, prayer, and journaling), family, small groups (including a monthly vocational group), and vocational coaches / mentors (2-3 appointments per month) vital to working against the comparison trap in not only in life, but also ministry. No, I have not become perfect. Instead I find myself in a refining process involving the freedom from perfectionism as a child of God.
Returning to the text, Chapters 2 and 3 of Mythical Me continue to unpack The Problem: Distorted Vision. I particularly appreciated Parham’s consideration of how insecurities can fuel unhealthy comparitivism and the myths which create a false self-understanding.
To “take your pulse” over the course of the next week, I encourage you to:
Do a social media self audit. For three days, write a quick note about your mental and emotional state after using social media. What do you notice? Are there ways of engaging social media that are more less toxic for you? If so, identify them (24).
As honestly as possible, list three things you believe other people think about you. Then share your list with another person. Ask if what you believe people think about you is is actually what people are thinking (34).
If these feel like big tasks (like they do for me), join me in taking a taking a deep breath and offer these exercises to the Lord.* Keep fixing your eyes on, worshipping, and pressing on in the upward hope of our Lord and Savior. Stay tuned for additional insights and questions from Mythical Me.
To God be the glory!
* You are welcome to be in touch with me about opportunities for coaching.