Making The Word "No" Your BFF - Part 3
by Tim Mares - CMDA Support Raising Coach
(Part 3 of 3)
“I am Dorothy. The small and meek. I’ve come to ask…” One of my favorite childhood movies was The Wizard of Oz. I admired their teamwork, mutual support, and commitment to perseverance through many trials to reach their goals. And how much they loved and rallied around Dorothy and her desire to go home. They bonded over their shared experiences.. When they faced the Wizard, they were incredibly intimidated and scared. And the Wizard’s rejection was almost paralyzing to the group. But Dorothy grew strong and stood up to the Wizard when he frightened her dear Lion.
One of my favorite quotes from the movie was, “Was I scared? You're talking to a man who laughed at death, sneered at danger, and chuckled at catastrophe. I was terrified.” Spoken by none other than the Wizard. Everyone struggles with fear and rejection. In fact, we spend each day making conscious and subconscious choices that accept and pursue a task or person and reject others. Should we be surprised that we live on both sides of the Rejection Fence. Rejection is literally a constant part of daily life for everyone. Know God is with you; people care about you, and God is working all things out for your good for His glory.
We Fear the Wonderful Word “NO”
I heartily recommend Jia Jiang’s TedTalk on Youtube on his self-imposed, Rejection Therapy entitled “What I learned from 100 days of rejection.” Here are some reasons why “NO” should be your BFF:
NO isn’t the problem. The problem is what we ADD to the word NO.
When someone tells you NO, they show honesty even if it creates some temporary awkwardness. The awkwardness may reflect compassion on their part, knowing you have an essential need. This kind of honesty demonstrates the type of relationship you want!
NO isn’t the opposite of YES. NO gives you insight into some of their parameters and opens up insights into what they might say YES to.
NO gives you the wisdom to look to other people God is calling to partner with you.
NO provides the environment for God to work in your heart and theirs to trust Him.
NO allows you to model an example for your friend by responding to NO.
NO may give feedback in how you need to adjust how or what you communicate.
NO may be their way of saying, “Can you ask me in a different way or something different?
NO may be their way of saying Maybe. Or not now. Or I’m sorry, but I can’t. They might be saying NO because they didn’t understand what you were asking. Find out their WHY. Why YES, or WHY NO.
So hearing NO is a gift from God, and if you are not hearing NO, you may be missing out on what is saying YES to! You’re not speaking to a wolf but one of the Shepherd’s lambs. And the ground you walk on when asking for partners isn’t quicksand. “On Christ the solid Rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand.”
Photo by Kai Pilger on Unsplash
